It’s nearly time for Euro 2012 and there is loads of debate as to who should get a seat on that most famous of planes. Well, I reckon Norwich’s Grant Holt should get one. He’s been bloody aces this season! GET HIM ON THE PLANE!

Gary Neville has a ‘goalgasm’ during Barca - Chelsea. So I made a remix of it.

Ronaldo can’t hide his joy at Olympic football draw

Ronaldo can’t hide his joy at Olympic football draw

Stop it Ashley Young, just stop it. Bad boy. Bad boy. Down. Stop humping Nani’s leg. 
The Manchester United winger’s dives made me so angry I made an angry rap song about it. Here it is. Enjoy!

Dear Nando, I believe in you. Love, Jim xxx

Manchester United’s Phil Jones is a cracking player but, my god, his boat race is just horrifying. Truly truly horrifying. Here is my song paying homage to his weird faces.

So it turns out we were all right; John Terry is a c**t. But there are more questions to be posed from the race row that he started, and here are my thoughts on the matter.

Sepp Blatter told reporters he thinks racism in football can be solved with a handshake after the game. This massive prat needs a musical dedicated to his complete buffoonery. Here is the first song from that, on how Sepp would like to deal with racism.


In late 2011 David Beckham had to make a decision on his future. Here’s how I imagined it playing out in his head.

I effin love Balotelli but it seems some people think he is irresponsible. Pah! I’ll have non of it! Here’s how I imagine Super Mario - who revealed a t-shirt with the slogan ‘Why Always Me?’ after scoring in the Manchester derby - would respond to his haters.