English football is dead! Long live English football. The EPPP ruling is not a good thing for the game, here’s why.

Another one for Palace fans, this time in response to West Ham manager Sam Allardyce’s pop at Eagles legend Dougie Freedman.

More Tevez. This time after he refused to play for City at Bayern. What a cheeky scamp.

This one is for Crystal Palace fans, after the historic win at rivals Brighton in October 2011.

Arsenal’s new Ivorian signing is winning fans already; not just for his goalscoring prowess but also for his awesome/awful (delete as appropriate) hair style. Here’s my view of how Gunners manager Arsene Wenger sees his new No.22.

Remember Carlos Teves? He used to play for Man City. What? He still does! Oh! The Argentinean declared he wants to leave Manchester City and this time it looks like he may actually leave, with Mancini sniffing around lots of other strikers. Here’s my song for Carlitos.

All sorts of shit went down when River Plater were relegated in September 2011. Here’s my version of events, in song format.

Manchester United have signed the highly rated Atletico Madrid goalkeeper. He wants to be the next Edwin van der Sar, but here are my words of warning for the youngster - in the chord of C.

Andre is back at Chelsea, but this time in the driving seat, after winning 4 trophies in his first season at Porto. Impressive. Here’s my song dedicated to AVB.

Chris Smalling is getting pretty excited about playing alongside new Manchester United team-mate Phil Jones, so here’s a little ode from Chris to Phil.